12/20/2004 - a sad Christmas
9 acct attached and did FINC to change guarantor
PAC to change phase - to put into 5.
Previous phase is 2.
changed to do - won't accept it? phase cannot be lowered on the acct.
the wrong person is the guarantor
Guarantor:
Louise,DELUCIA - 142981
GARR - will show 2 guarantor listed but select 142981
All 9 ACCT-NUM are attached wrong. Patient MRN:
All 9 were wrong and all 9 need to be changed.
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Today is 12/20, week 2 of the inlaws' visit ....3 more weeks to go. It's been awful. Before they arrived, I had the best intention to stay happy and loving. Herman and I prayed and I prayed myself, etc. to anticipate this visit. As soon as they arrived, I realized that there's so much I could not have predicted. I tried my best but the best is not good enough. 99 's presence alone brought back a lot of dark memories. Her nagging and exeggerated gesture turns me off.
I never thought it would be this bad again. I already visualized in my head the whole scenario of me packing my bags and leaving with Ethan. I had a "talk" with 99 yesterday, telling her not to be so "gik dung". I was on the phone, in a conference call but I had it muted. Ethan was crying in the exersaucer so I went to pick him up. She flicked at my arm and told me to walk away - good intention, but rude. I later told her that I know when I can pick up ethan and when I can't and she doesn't have to be so "gik dung". From then, i was pretty short with them. I just don't want to talk. So I am sure she's in a bad mood.
On Saturday, she threw up after our short trips of going out to lunch. this reminded me of the 1st Christmas after Herman and I got married. at the time, Herman made me go up to say comforting words. At the time, I reluctantly did so. I was so reluctant, and doing that made more damage to our relaointship than help. Yesterday as I was standing there , I was waiting for lo yeah to come tell me to bring her tea!! If he did then I would have honestly told him that, all those were said and done and look where we are? We have only made things worse. I was also waiting for herman to tell me to go ask about how she feels...and if he did then I would tell him that if she chooses to go into a tandram then i should not be the one aplogizing. It's her own damn fault for not controlling her emotion. I know she's pissed at me. I haven't talked to her, and neither did she. Yesterday morning when I took ethan downstairs, I said, good morning. She did not even bother to reply. Fine. Not like it bothers me.It's my home! I caught myself feeling a little scared - scared about herman knowing this "secret fight" we had going on. then suddenly it dawned on me that - it's her problem, not mine. Why should i be scared about what herman feels? I haven't changed a thing I did - i have always been silent and will remain silent. if she's too good to say a word then i won't either.
But do you know how much I want to get out of this mess? do you know how much I long for Christmas with just the 3 of us !!! it sucks to not feel comfortable in your own home.... sigh.
This week I am working thru Wednesday. Then next week since BH is closed that means we'll have to work at home all week long :(
I really just want to cry
PAC to change phase - to put into 5.
Previous phase is 2.
changed to do - won't accept it? phase cannot be lowered on the acct.
the wrong person is the guarantor
Guarantor:
Louise,DELUCIA - 142981
GARR - will show 2 guarantor listed but select 142981
All 9 ACCT-NUM are attached wrong. Patient MRN:
All 9 were wrong and all 9 need to be changed.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Today is 12/20, week 2 of the inlaws' visit ....3 more weeks to go. It's been awful. Before they arrived, I had the best intention to stay happy and loving. Herman and I prayed and I prayed myself, etc. to anticipate this visit. As soon as they arrived, I realized that there's so much I could not have predicted. I tried my best but the best is not good enough. 99 's presence alone brought back a lot of dark memories. Her nagging and exeggerated gesture turns me off.
I never thought it would be this bad again. I already visualized in my head the whole scenario of me packing my bags and leaving with Ethan. I had a "talk" with 99 yesterday, telling her not to be so "gik dung". I was on the phone, in a conference call but I had it muted. Ethan was crying in the exersaucer so I went to pick him up. She flicked at my arm and told me to walk away - good intention, but rude. I later told her that I know when I can pick up ethan and when I can't and she doesn't have to be so "gik dung". From then, i was pretty short with them. I just don't want to talk. So I am sure she's in a bad mood.
On Saturday, she threw up after our short trips of going out to lunch. this reminded me of the 1st Christmas after Herman and I got married. at the time, Herman made me go up to say comforting words. At the time, I reluctantly did so. I was so reluctant, and doing that made more damage to our relaointship than help. Yesterday as I was standing there , I was waiting for lo yeah to come tell me to bring her tea!! If he did then I would have honestly told him that, all those were said and done and look where we are? We have only made things worse. I was also waiting for herman to tell me to go ask about how she feels...and if he did then I would tell him that if she chooses to go into a tandram then i should not be the one aplogizing. It's her own damn fault for not controlling her emotion. I know she's pissed at me. I haven't talked to her, and neither did she. Yesterday morning when I took ethan downstairs, I said, good morning. She did not even bother to reply. Fine. Not like it bothers me.It's my home! I caught myself feeling a little scared - scared about herman knowing this "secret fight" we had going on. then suddenly it dawned on me that - it's her problem, not mine. Why should i be scared about what herman feels? I haven't changed a thing I did - i have always been silent and will remain silent. if she's too good to say a word then i won't either.
But do you know how much I want to get out of this mess? do you know how much I long for Christmas with just the 3 of us !!! it sucks to not feel comfortable in your own home.... sigh.
This week I am working thru Wednesday. Then next week since BH is closed that means we'll have to work at home all week long :(
I really just want to cry
posted by superfcbear at 10:57 AM
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